Excerpted from The New And This Time (Not Like Those Other Times) Totally Correct And Canonical Final Final Version Of The Way The World Is Mark XXIV Encyclopedia.

The political system

Politicians are hatched under bridges and are usually left to their own devices, the stronger hatch-lings inevitably eat the weaker ones until there are none left under that particular bridge. Afterhow, the politician must venture out from under the bridge into the bright terrifying world above. This is generally close to a crossroads of some sort and the politician begins growing its plumage. The plumage generally appears as a crude sign along the lines of "God bless. Homeless veteran. Family of 8 to feed. No legs. Any vote helps." And unwitting passers by have their sympathy gland squeezed and give some votes to the politician... thus begins the life long mating dance that the politician has with the community surrounding him. The votes are exchanged for food and drugs and power over local ordinances. The populace, largely, doesn't pay much attention to politicians or where they come from (no one knows what exactly lays politic-egg sacks in the first place); they're merely an object of scorn or pity or malicious sadistic amusement. Until one finally gets enough votes to oust whatever Sovereign seems to be in power at the time, then the politician typically starts on a slow spiral out of control (what little of it they started with) and into complete debauchery, addiction, conspiracy and murder at the end of which they are either ousted by another politician or die by their own excess.

Politicians adhere to some of the same pavlovian factors that we all do. Once they get their first vote on the side of the road with their cardboard sign, a progression begins and they begin articulating those cardboard signs more or less persuasively, the less persuasive the sign, the less successful the politician, and if the politician is adaptable, s/he'll change his/er sign accordingly. Eventually the bright ones move out of the cardboard media altogether, some use street theater, some use billboards, some use blimps trailing thousand foot long banners, some use networks of loudspeakers placed throughout the city (as did the outgoing Prime Minister), some use armageddon fueled loud voices spoken atop make shift pulpits, others use threats of outright violence.